Finley has been teething bad (this is a trending topic of ours) and we are trying to get out the house...a lot.
While out and about at the park a lady stopped to ask me my daughters age, i quickly wondered what on earth she was asking and then it clicked she was referring to my son...i never know how to handle that one, yes Fin is in dire need of a hair cut but he was wearing denim overalls, rain boots and carrying a stick, i shall not gender stereotype too much here but he definitely looked more like a boy.
Swallowing my mommy pride i said 'oh he is 18 months, almost 19', this was followed by 'my,she is very pretty', i mean come on lady, I gave you an out by strongly emphasising the 'he'. I ended up just going along with it all. i realised quickly that this lady just needed a chat and we had not much else going on.
It all changed however when this happened...lady : 'My daughter is due in April...its her third' before i could interject to congratulate her on the birth of her third grandchild she asked directly 'now how was she delivered' (meaning he...my son) I was at first slightly taken aback by the question, moms ask one another these questions all the time but they generally tend to know one another. I answered simply 'he was delivered by c-section' , because no one really wants or needs to know the very intimate details and then she said this-
'Oh what a shame, will you try again to have a 'real' birth?'
Finley thankfully began to fuss in his stroller, we excused ourselves and made it home.
And then i got all fussy...here is my point, yes i know that giving birth to a baby the natural way is just plain amazing, believe me i wish that i could of, but i couldn't, we had a c-section to deliver a healthy baby.
I wish that i could of have felt his hot little body on my chest, and have him breast feed instantly, but i couldn't, that just wasn't going to be our story, but that doesn't mean that the birth of my baby was any less 'real' than a natural birth. I guess i was upset that she didn't think that i had 'had' a real experience it certainly felt real to me while i labored for 36 hours and got upset with my husband for taking a nap!
I have met other mothers too who also had c sections and carry almost a little guilt that they didn't give birth naturally...there is almost this sense that they feel next time they will get it right and not have to go for the c section.
I just have to disagree. We can not measure ourselves or our pregnancies by our birthing experiences. We all carried babies, felt their first kicks, hiccups and punching hands. You know we all held our bellies at night waiting for them to move. We altered our lives in some way to ensure their safe delivery and I'm sure we all had the 'bump' envy when we saw a mama a little more pregnant than us. Our experiences though may differ to an extent are all one in the same. So why judge or pity another mother for how their baby came in to the world.
So yes friends, i did have a 'real' birth and gave birth to a 'real' baby boy who obviously on occasion looks like a baby girl
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